The realities of being a black woman rarely get highlighted as well as they were in the TV show; Insecure. A complex observance of the lives of two different women, opposites of each other, who represent the reality of who a woman can be. Created by Issa Rae and Larry Wilmore in the words of Issa Rae, it discusses in detail the complexities of ‘blackness’ and the reality that you can’t escape being black. The plot opens with Issa cheating on her boyfriend; Lawrence, an act that shatters their relationship. Molly; the other version of a black woman, holds her hand as she figures out what to do with her life without the perfect future she had hoped for with Lawrence. The back and forth love triangle drama, makes this promising woman lose days that she would have invested in herself, because she keeps hoping Lawrence and her can move past it all.

Issa & Lawrence from ‘Insecure’                 The transition through the seasons gives a clear view of the aspects of the life we live including love, careers, pain, shame, guilt, recovery and addictions. The scenes are cleverly illustrated in a way that a viewer is hit with nostalgia because of the realities of the lives we are living.                     Issa Rae (Issa) and Yvonne Orji (Molly); my favorite protagonists in the film, not only represent challenges of the black woman, but also the African woman. Through the consequences of Issa’s mistakes, it is clear that the society is less forgiving when a woman is promiscuous as compared to a man. Because when Lawrence uses Tasha as a rebound, it is easier to forget. Issa’s mistake haunts her through the three seasons. Another reality of life is lack of self-belief; often we seek approval from those we want to see us, and when they don’t, we think we are not good enough.

Issa Rae

Issa’s insecurities extend to being a talented girl who raps in the mirror or in her head. It’s not until she drops ‘broken pussy’ in a club that she realizes how good her rap game is. Issa keeps on waiting for the right time for things to go back to normal but towards the end of season three, she realizes she is a big girl who needs to start living her dream and making her own decisions instead of letting people fight her battles. That sums it up, wind up on the pity party, fuck feeling feelings and make something out of yourself while you still can. Unless you learn to accept your mistakes, the guilt will drown you. Maybe you will turn to sexual promiscuity, or drugs, but as long as your shame still gnaws at your flesh, you end up making wrong choices to make yourself feel better only to end up worse.

Issa and Molly.


              Molly on the other hand seems to have her life figured out; a perfect job, perfect home. The only imperfection in her story is the lack of a stable relationship, falling for the wrong guy, the married guy and finally being a black career woman in a male dominated industry. She is what we want to be when we grow up. Rich, young successful women. But being black and being a woman in a male dominated industry makes her work an extra mile to let everyone see her. She is strong on the outside but deep down she hurts because she can’t seem to find the right man to settle with even though she made it. Her situation is worsened by the mansplaining nature of men in her field. On the positive; Molly is someone I would call a good friend. someone who doesn’t bail on you despite how bad things get. Today, we are quick to run in the opposite direction when our friends need us because we don’t want the hustle that comes with taking care of friends. Their friendship is more than fake love because each can lean on the other and cry without feeling crucified for their actions.

Insecure (season 3, episode 5), debut 9/9/18: Yvonne Orji, Issa Rae.
photo: Merie W. Wallace/HBO

Issa and Molly combined are a perfect definition of a woman; It is okay to have flaws, as long as you accept your mistakes, strive through the consequences and conquer the storm. Pick your career, explore your talents, go on vacations and sip wine at the edge of the sea watching the sunset. Stand your ground in the society because black women aren’t bitter, we’re just tired of being expected to settle for less. Never forget, there are people out there constantly waiting for you to stumble and fall. Do not let them ridicule you, and when they do, don’t let it affect you. They do not matter!


My take home from Issa is that life becomes a bitch once you slip up and without a good friend like Orji to hold your hand even though she battles her own demons, it is never that easy to survive. Always be thankful for that one person who stands by you through it all, however, when time is right, allow yourself to walk on your own without them having to hold your hand. People who do not know you will always have an opinion about your actions. The people you expect to stick by you will run in the opposite direction because what matters is not that you made them proud but that you fucked up a good relationship. From Orji; being a career woman doesn’t mean you have your life figured out. The same damn thing you are good at will be questioned by a lot of people who feel a woman is meant to work behind a man. Be a good friend, and despite how long it takes, someone out there is your soulmate.

Meanwhile, when is season four coming out?